(and where trauma fits into this all)
PLEASE NOTE- This is my opinion and comes from my own experiences and I am aware that there will be lots of wiggle room in this conversation. If what I’m saying here “triggers” you in any way, I ask that you reflect instead of comment. Thank you.
As I’m diving deeper into my path with clients and powerfully serving them, I’m noticing a few things and I feel the need to address it here as I feel it’s important for both practitioner and client. The general definition for Therapy and Coaching is Therapy is about the past; Coaching is about the future. I say… Therapy is about the past; Coaching is about the future and Healing is about the Now!
Coaching is about helping people navigate through the now to where they want to go. Therapy is generally about dealing with things that have happened in the past which are holding people back from living their fullest, happiest lives. Within every coaching session there will be some form of “past” and in every Therapy session there will be some form of “future”.
Therapy includes things like Psychiatry, Psychology and Psychotherapy. Coaching comes from the world of sports…yes…sports. Coaches support their clients from where they are now to where they want to be in the future. They give them the tools to achieve their goals and also help them reframe past limiting beliefs so that they can achieve greatness. To be a coach you don’t have to be the greatest at what your client does, you only have to be able to bring out the greatness in your client. Healing, fits in between these two. Healing modalities such as Reiki, Sound Healing, Psychic Healing or Intuitive healers (and so many others) have a big role to play in the gap between Therapy and Coaching and because of our strong intuition or ability to read people, we are often able to support our clients through the past, through the now into the future. Therefor healing looks at the past, present and future. It’s wholistic. Healers are almost 100% of the time people who have experienced massive trauma, abuse and lived a hard life which has given them the skills, tools, insights, and intuition to deal with what most people are going through. Healers understand the victim-mindset and know what it takes to take responsibility for their thoughts and their life. We, the Healers are often qualified by life to support our clients and because most healers are very psychic, we can go even deeper with our clients.
Often people in therapy are stuck in a mindset of “done to me” and people who do coaching are more in a mindset of “happened for me”.
Often the clients we see as Healers are somewhere between victim and owner. They are waking up to the fact that we create our own life and reality and even though they are in between the victim and owner mindset, they are open to receive the guidance and look at themselves. Therefore, more owner rather than victim.
NOW HERE COMES TRAUMA…
I personally feel that the word “trauma” is being used very loosely these days, but that’s just my opinion. Can a Coach help a person with trauma, yes! Can a Healer help a person with trauma, yes! Does a healer or coach need to be qualified in trauma to work with a client who has “trauma”, no.
Now before you go and crucify me, let me explain.
Remember when I said if a person is in the state of ownership, they are open to look at their stuff. Well, that would be the type of client that a healer could very confidently help through their trauma, because they are not stuck in the victim mindset. Sometimes you can tell if a client is very much stuck in their trauma and the past by the overuse of the word “trauma”. Sometimes it’s not so obvious.
If you have a client with trauma and they are stuck in victimhood, they are better off receiving treatment from a properly trained therapist such as a psychiatrist.
How do we the healers know if the client is in a victim mindset or a state of ownership? We need to see them once or twice to establish whether or not we are the right person for them. Sometimes it is obvious from the beginning and other times they are so good at hiding their victim mindset under the desire to get help, that it takes a little time to see it. As a coach and healer, we need to have healthy boundaries and refer client to the right people if we are not the right person for the job, as they say. But we can only truly know once we have spent time with a client.
I’m writing this to bring awareness to not just coaches and healer, but to you the client so that there is a better understanding as to how a coach and healer can support you. The onus should not and can not solely fall on the practitioner as to whether they can help. Do your research so that when you ask a coach or healer to support you, that you too have taken responsibility for where you seek help. This is just in your best interest.
And if you’re a coach or healer, make sure to have systems in place to qualify your clients and if they are not a fit, refer them.
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